Mines of Paldemar

Fake fountains, dragons, y mas
Psycho is an asshat

In the zombie town, we investigate giant dead spiders to discover they were dragged here by something bigger perhaps?

We see an illusory fountain, psycho immediately drinks.

Investigating another, innocent looking house, rodalpho busts into a room to stare into the face of a green dragon! “cateraffe” (cat + giraffe). Many pants were shat.

Psycho literally forgets his name.

After some chatter, we discover that we share a common interest with the dragon, Viperfang, in that we all do not want the dragon cult to take over this town. Albeit for different reasons.

The group ignores the illusory fountain, and engages giant spiders + rape trees. Brail decrees that psycho has no use since Andochas can use burning hands. Combat happens eventually, then

" I guess i’ll swing at the bush" -rudolpho

Towning around
all around the towns

After scouting out a number of goblin camps, rodalpho and andochas return to Phandalin.
Ozden, Erevan, Psycho remain in town, Red has disappeared up a mountain.

Returning to town, they bring an injured goblin Zix who is the only survivor they found. He claims that we must get to King Yeemik ASAP.

Erevan plays goblin chess.

We leave town to seek out Yeemik before Red returns from the mountain. Underground, Yeemik tells us the tragic history of goblins, and a curse that ties a goblins intelligence to their rate of aging. Yeemik appears much older than one would have expected.

We meet Bill, the Halloween decoration in a box.

We learn a lot about the dragon cultists, including that they have moved into Neverwinter. He identifies the rune that Rudolpho found as (insert name), which amplifies a spell in conjunction with other runes.

He also tells of the rune Eratak in Neverwinter, used as a way to summon some creature.

The group decides to make for Thundertree with some goblin support. A few goblin scouts are sent to try to find Red and direct him to Yeemik.

After fucking around with the goblins for a few hours they leave for Thundertree…

Arrive at thundertree at night. Walk around, open a door to find some zombies in a house.

Takes us an hour and a half to kill 6 zombies…..

Pearl of Terror
Also a new belt

Quick summary!

In the Orc camp, people looted corpses, rescued slaves, etc. Red and Ozden focused on the Slave part. Erevan and Kasper were relegated to patrol duty. His patrols were uneventful, so he eventually just stayed in the camp.

Psycho specifically searched the wizard cultist and the orc shaman, along with searching the anal cavities of the ogre and orcs. He found several loots, and one kidney stone that he blieves came from the anal region of the ogre, though it came from a bit north of that. Seriously wtf psycho.

Rodolpho searched the rest of the corpses, Andochas searched the tent(?)

Eventually, quite a few gems, weapons, a spellbook, and some other stuff were found. See the loot page for more info!

Among the items found was a cyan sphere, that looked like a large pearl. It was cyan on the outer edges, but the deeper into it, the darker it gets, until the center is pitch black.

When Andochas used Detect Magic, where the Pearl was he saw instead a gaping void into a black abyss.
Rodolpho wanted to get rid of it, so tried to take it out of his pocket and put it in a small coffer. Once he picked it up, he was able to resist the urge to throw it, but it was no longer conceivable that he would want to get rid of it. He and Andochas took turns holding it and trying to throw it or resist throwing it for a while. It was eventually identified. See loot page.

Andochas had a really fancy dragon headed staff. See loot page.

Psycho found some dice of divining. See…well, you get the idea.

The goblin that was captures was named Gurk, and he spokse with Rodolpho a bit, including showing where a few goblin outposts were. The goblins and the party traveled together most of the way, but split off near Phandaelin.

The boars were calmed down well enough that the group was able to get them loaded up with treasures, Andochas got a tensers disk to carry out an orcish throne

Back in town, the tiefling slave with her mouth sewn shut was taken to the temple, the rest were in good shape and so brought to Sildar.

When he was told that blood magic was found, Sildars face went white, and he ordered his secretary to take the slaves to the inna nd see that they were cared for. He then barred the doors and windows and ushered the group into the cellar,and spoke in whispers of what was going on.
Back upstairs, he hastily scribbled a note down, opened up his safe within a safe within a safe thing, and dropped the letter into a small box, then closed it up again and began pacing.

Rodolpho was suspicious but couldnt put his finger on it.

Next day, Rodolpho and Andochas ride two boars out to a goblin outpost that Gurk had shown them. Red strode off into the mountains alone.
Psycho spent the day getting a fancy new belt and trying to hire a sherrif.

Blood magic orcs

We all learned how to use waypoints! Hopefully people use this in combat.

Approaching a large orc camp, Erevan sends out his raven familiar Kasper to scout out the scenario. Kasper spies a huge dome that is identified as Blood Magic, before being shot at by a nasty necromancer.

Ozden knows that ravens are certainly not native to this region, so the necromancer most likely knew it wasn’t supposed to be there.

The group begins making plans, and starts sneaking around the side of the camp. Ozden started to cast Bless, being way too loud, but was immediately shushed and the stealth was saved.

They come across some animals that look like boars, with saddles on them. After some bickering, they decide to bypass them around the outskirts of the camp. Rodalpho feeds a boar that sticks his head out, and unsuccessfully casts animal friendship, the boars are literally too stupid to be friends. Rodalpho at first thought this was a giant boar, but after getting a close up view, he realizes they are actually just regular boars that have been bred to exceptionally large.

Ozden and Erevan, leading the group, see a female tiefling holding a torch, chained up and guarded by a handful of orcs. They quickly don’t decide anything, but eventually move to take out the few guards as quietly as possible.

ccccxxxxhhhh aaaggghghgh

Slightly less than successful, they hear what can only be an orc boss taunt them into the tent. Rodalpho sneaks around the side of the tent, while the rest charge through the front flap of the tent.

Gog the giant orc Ogre introduces himself, while Rodalpho rips through the side of the tent and proceeds to fail miserably with his surprise attack on Gog. A rough looking orc, to be revealed as Brughor, greets the group with a two-headed axe (yikes).

Gog uses his reaction to bend over. Yes.

Psycho, attempting to cast poison at Rodalpho, hears a voice that sounds like Erevan saying “No, that is not allowed.”, but Psycho promptly hears another voice that says “Do it, then have a dance party!”

Red grows big and with numbers greatly in their favor, the party is victorious in Brughor’s tent, yet for some reason Brughor seemed rather pleased at the outcome of getting his ass kicked.

Gurk Nah’Mless is released from under a net, and proceeds to glomp Rodalpho. He was sent by King Yeemik, and offers to help when he recognizes Rodalpho as the “the halfling with red cloak” because of Yeemik.

Also, Gurk reveals that the orcs IN this area are practicing blood magic, and are in the process of being absorbed into a dragon cult. Though the dragon cult is not responsible for the blood magic.

Andochas loots the chest, (because that’s what he came for, apparently), and then everyone rushes back out of the tent to stop the blood magic already in progress…Gurk warns them to not burn or “break” bodies, but to leave them intact. Especially do not let blood touch any runes on the ground.

Rushing to the front, jumping over a flaming tent (don’t ask) Red confronts a group of orcs, skeletons, and a dragon cultist. The cultist immediately recognizes some markings on Red’s face, and asks him where he got them.

Psycho is an asshat, -50 DKP.

Ozden unfortunately falls from many magic missiles and greataxes that cut through chainmail like a magic sword through a gelatinous cube.

After much strife, low health, and little help (negative help?) from Psycho, they overcome the dragon cultist, orcs and undead around the weird blood magic runes on the ground.

Red vaporizes 2 skellingtons with a knuckle sandwich, hold the bread.




Catching up: 5 play sessions in 100 words or less (or not)
A summary of the events so far


Pi is exactly 3.

We were hired by a dwarf to take stuff to another town. Ambushed by goblins, lead to destroying local goblin forces and Erevan taking in a young Goblin tailor and us rescuing the dwarf’s companion Sealdar or something. We eventually go to rescue the same dwarf (after liberating the town we delivered to, from the red cloaks, glasstaff and creepy demon thingy), who was kidnapped because of his cool map. We fight the goblin king in his castle (after stealthing) along with a bunch of hobgoblins, a dopple ganger that gives us trouble and may have lead to the party killing psycho temporarily, and an owlbear.

Back in town, eventually, Sealdar is the new town master (old one sucked). Some crazy shitWe gonna go kill orcs for money an stop by a haunted town (via banshee) too ask for some info on a book for the local priestess. We meet our new party member, the gnome. Then head from there to deal with the orcs.


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